Body Image & Balance
When I think about it, I have struggled with this for a very long time. Back in junior high, again in high school, during my college years, and even now as I type this. Maybe it is from the constant images I saw on TV or in magazines, or maybe it is because I’ve always been so hard on myself in every way. Or maybe it’s because we live in a world where we want everything now or where we expect everything to be perfect. We are told that we must live up to certain standards, and then we take those standards and make them even more unachievable and difficult, leaving us with this feeling of constant dissatisfaction. Maybe all of these things are why… why I worry so much about my body image.
It doesn’t help that my hobby and true passion is bodybuilding; a sport completely centered on your body image. Now don’t get me wrong, the sport is something that I love, but at the end of the day it literally comes down to who has that “perfect” look. And to look “perfect,” it may require you to get breast implants, go through extreme dieting, get hair extensions, fake nails, false eye lashes, professional teeth whitening, dark spray tans, and wear skimpy blinged-out clothing and jewelry. In this sport, it’s really easy to get lost in it all. It’s really easy to forget that looking “perfect” is important for your competition, but not for everyday life. It often skews reality for a lot of competitors because competing shows a totally new side of health and fitness. It shows what extremes look like by under-eating and over-training to get unnaturally lean.
The point I am trying to get at here is that what most people don’t realize is that bodybuilding can REALLY mess with a competitor’s mentality. If you are a competitior yourself, then you probably understand this. I’m not just talking about how dieting before a competition can cause you to be grouchy, but I’m also talking about what happens after a competition when you gain back some healthy body fat and when you stop devoting hours of your day into the sport. It’s hard when you go from spending hours a day in the gym, posing, running, preparing food, sleeping, posing again, running again, showering, etc. to suddenly not having to do any of that anymore. It’s hard to tell yourself that it is OKAY to do less, that it is just fine to NOT go running anymore and to not spend hours in the gym. It sounds crazy but there’s a voice inside that tells us we aren’t doing enough or working hard enough or being disciplined enough, because what we are used to is giving 100% at all times. However, giving 100% to bodybuilding and training for hours a day and constantly obsessing over meal prepping and running is in no way a healthy thing when there is no need for it (aka the “off season”). After a competition, it is NECESSARY that a competitor gains weight. Not only for the sake of going back to the drawing board and building more muscle but also for the sake of one’s overall health.
Maintaining a very lean physique year-round is not easy on the body. In fact, it is very hard on the body. Staying lean causes issues with body temperature, digestion, recovery, hydration, exhaustion and more. But many people struggle with getting past this desire to stay lean, why? Because it looks awesome! And we feel good when we are lean. We look good so we are happy, right? Well, for most people who maintain a lean physique all the time, they have other issues that you are unaware of and are actually very unhappy. Being obsessed with staying lean and doing everything in your will power to be lean can consume your life and cause you to be a hermit crab. It’s sad isn’t it? I mean, I’ve been there before, but it is not fun. Life is too short to spend all day every day at the gym and hiding away in your apartment waiting for your next meal. There is SO much more to life than staying lean and being lean. Yeah being lean looks good and makes you happy at times, but honestly, true happiness will not come from this. I’ve been extremely lean and been miserable inside… and it was because I had no balance. My LIFE revolved around the gym and my food. I was selfish and so focused on me all the time that I forgot about my friends and even my family at times. I missed out on LIFE because I thought my body was more important. I skipped dinners and events and fun times because I thought it would hinder me and my body. But all it really did was make me more of a miserable, lonely person.
So here I am now, finding balance and trying not to be that girl that I once was. The girl who focused on having a perfect body at all times, and the girl who cared about her body image so much that she missed out on life. Competing doesn’t make this ANY easier, because to this day I still struggle with body image. As I have gained a few pounds since my last competition, and as I continue to go out to eat yummy foods and have a few drinks now and then, there are definitely times that I am hard on myself and tell myself that I should be working harder or being more disciplined, but then I remind myself that NOBODY is perfect and nobody should be… that’s boring. Finding balance means not being 100% at all times. And looking past the glitz and glam of bodybuilding and past the idea of being “perfect,” and really focusing on why I live the way I do in the first place is what is most important. I do this to be healthy and to be happy, and I cannot ever let this lifestyle consume me to a point where it runs my life. Balance is not easy, especially since I am a competitor, but as I grow older, I continue to strive for happiness, not abs :)
